neighbour... etc.

my neighbour doesn't trouble me with the cable wire anymore,
he's rigged his own connection outta mine.

now he's started something i can really not understand...
everytime i come back from delhi after the weekend,
he greets me with -
"waapis aa gaye ji?"

well if i'm the one you're talking to errr... isn't it kinda obvious.
i would hereby like to present this as a candidate for the following:

stupid question people ask
--------------------------

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot; there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2.In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet.
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia....why don't you try again or should I try this time."

3.At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks.
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4.At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good?
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5.At a family get-together. When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6.When a friend announces her/his wedding, and you ask.
Stupid Question:-Is the guy/gal you're marrying good?
Answer:-No, he/she is a miserable wife-beating/nagging insensitive lout..it's just the money.

7.When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:- No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8.When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey, have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding...................

9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.

10.You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks.
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle It was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!